2 Boys and a Lady

A Toy Story Play Date With Big Brother Titus

2012-01-31T12:05:00.001-08:00

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Seven Months

2012-01-31T12:04:00.003-08:00

Here is my official seven month picture. I am so busy being able to crawl around that most of my pictures turn out blurry.

Crawling and Pulling Up

2012-01-31T12:04:00.001-08:00

I have been crawling now for a while. I started around 6.5 months. I like to pull up on everything and bear crawl like this. I love my brothers so much. They make me laugh and smile. Whenever I get excited I kick my legs and my arms at the same time.

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Getting a little colder in SC

2012-01-31T12:03:00.003-08:00

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First TIme in a Shopping Cart

2012-01-31T12:03:00.001-08:00

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2012-01-31T12:02:00.001-08:00

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2012-01-31T12:01:00.003-08:00

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2012-01-31T12:01:00.001-08:00

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2012-01-31T12:00:00.001-08:00

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Catherine Glory 5 mos and MUSC

2011-12-01T18:48:00.000-08:00

Catherine Glory is our joy. We are still in shock that we are the parents to this sweet pink baby girl. Sometimes I change her diaper and squeal because it reminds me of the first time I saw her. Hynie first, entering the world. A sight that would forever change me.A baby girl, a sweet daughter. A part of my heart I never knew that I desired. A craving. Catherine Glory, I craved you!
Catherine will be 6 months old on December 10th. The last six months have been some of the most joy filled and the darkest of my life. An ongoing struggle with postpartum depression (hormones!) and the unexplained joy of realizing how much I desired this sweet gift. You see, not only did Baby Page #4 happen to be a girl: The daughter-crown of our family. She also happens to be the most joy-filled baby. Out of the womb she seemed to kick up to nuzzle under my chin. Home from the hospital, she seemed to want to sleep an eight-hour night. She ate and slept. As she grew, she smiled and cooed. never a fussy moment or crying spell. The.happiest.baby.on.earth.

Catherine looks like me. She really does. I love looking at her asleep and thinking of my baby pictures.

Almost Identical.

I love watching her smile and seeing these dimples that are her own. All her own. Smiling for Gods glory.

Today we had a consultation at MUSC. At my 20 week prenatal ultrasound, Catherine was diagnosed with hydroneuphrosis of her left kidney. Basically, it was a little enlarged. Alarming? not, really. It is common in newborns. BUT, I had my left kidney removed at 16 following a diagnosis of low function which caused multiple bladder infections and high fevers.

By the end of my pregnancy the ultrasounds showed the kidney was a normal size.YEAH!

Last month, Catherines pediatrician ordered an ultrasound just to make sure everything still looked good. We almost didn't go because I thought it was pointless. A few days later the results left u shocked. her right and left kidney showed enlargement. she also showed a kidney stone on her left kidney,

Today we met with a great DR. at the pediatric neproplogy unit. He studied at Cambridge University ( I was born in Cambridge) and was probably in his 70's. basically, we couldn't have asked for a more proficient or knowledgeable doctor. He took so much time with us going over all of her ultrasounds.

It seems that there are quite a few abnormality's with the left kidney and the right kidney is enlarged to compensate for that issue. Right now she is to be on an antibiotic because we don't know the severity of any re flux and an infection at this point could become septic to a baby her age. We will go in two weeks for a day of testing to determine the level of reflux and to look at the kidneys in more detail.

Thank you so much for your prayers. I will keep you updated. I am confident God will use this to His glory.He promised to do so- Romans 8:28!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Catherine Glory 4 mos

2011-10-25T11:56:00.000-07:00

Catherine Glory is just a little over 4 mos. She is such a joy to our family and her brothers adore her! They always ask where is "my caff-rine." Catherine is a great sleeper- she takes 3 naps a day and sleeps about 11 hours at night, sometimes more. Catherine and mommy also love to snuggle and nurse. Catherine is a great eater, she is purely breastfeed still. We will probably introduce food around 6 mos. Catherine has found her voice and loves to chatter and talk to us. She is ALWAYS smiling and constantly scanning to find someone to smile at. She is reaching and grabbing and playing with her toys. Her nicknames are Glory, Glory Bug, Glor, Glory Boo, CGlory, and the newest one I have been calling her pinky..probably because she is so cute and everything surrounding her is pink.ohmy goodness..I can't forget to mention her skin.It looks like porcelin.It is so smooth and perfect. We are so blessed to have such a sweet girl in our family. How we adore you sweet Catherine Glory!

Romans first day of school

2011-08-15T11:53:00.001-07:00

Learning about the pilgrims and the continents.fyi..its pretty hard to outline continents in maski ng tape!!

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Catherine @ 8 weeks after a bath

2011-08-13T10:19:00.001-07:00

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Catherine enjoying...

2011-08-13T10:18:00.001-07:00

here is Catherine at 8 weeks enjoying her big brother and freshly covered pink chair from her auntie sharon.

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Union jack

2011-08-13T10:17:00.001-07:00

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Catherine Glory 1-2 Mos

2011-08-11T11:45:00.000-07:00

8 weeks

4 weeks

cousin abigail came to play

In a perfect world I guess I could have done a blog every week or so for our sweet Catherine. But alas, 8 weeks has FLOWN by and here we are..posting 8 weeks worth of pictures.Catherine has brought so much joy to our family.She is the most contented baby I have ever come across- and she is mine!its a novelty if she ever cries! I still can't believe whe has been entrusted to us- a sweet baby girl! We are so in love. She likes to sleep- doing 10-12 hour nights and keeps her regular cycle of eating and napping throughout the day. She started cooing and smiling around 7 weeks and Andrew and I are loving it.At night when the boys are in bed we are often found talking to our little princess and adoring her sweet face and coos.
I honsetly never reaized how much I would love having a daughter, or how much i would love dressing her. I love the over the top bows and the sweet pink clothes.
Catherine is long and skinny. At her 8 week checkup she was almost 24 inches and 9 pounds 14 oz. She is still in all newborn clothes and even fits in one of her preemie outfits still!
Catherine is a great eater. She nurses well but also takes a pumped bottle from her daddy. Her brothers adore her. Titus always is asking where is "Caff-rine Gorr weee??"

The Birth of Catherine Glory Page

2011-06-26T17:11:00.000-07:00

The friday before Catherines birthday my Ob/GYN had scheduled an ultrasound for the following Friday to determine the levels of my amniotic fluid. With Jude I had to have an emergency induction because my levels were so low. My doc prepared me to "be ready" to go on Friday ..just in case. That thursday I cleaned and cleaned and cleaned. I dropped off dry cleaning and cleaned the van. I packed myself, Andrew and the boys for three days. I filed bills and payed bills. I tied up any loose end I could think of ..just in case.

That night I had a party to attend in Mount Pleasant and because my ultrasound was scheduled for 7:30 in the morning we were going to sleep over at my mother in laws, so she could watch the boys. She also lives 5 minutes from my doctors office and place of delivery at East Cooper.

That evening I joked to Jenna and Andrew that my day would have put any normal person into labor. I was hoping to have the baby on Friday because I felt prepared, but I really wanted to go into labor on my own. Something that had only happened with Roman and never before 40 weeks, which would have been nice also!

That night I woke up at 3:30 because Andrew was in the shower. I lay awake for a little while as he got settled. Around 3:50 I felt a contraction- a painful contraction low enough to be real. I looked at the clock and waited...5 minutes later, another...and five minutes later, another...I started to get excited and told Andrew excitedly." I am having contractions 5 minutes apart.!!" he rolled over and said "okay let me go to sleep."
At that point I was so excited and nervous that this could really be happening that I went downstairs to time them some more. A little while later Andrews mom came downstairs to check who was up. "I think i am in labor" I told her. She was so excited that she helped me time contrations for a while and then got the pedicure stuff out to paint my nails.

Andrew and I decided to keep my ultrasound appointment because I was sure I was in false labor and didn't want to get sent home from the hospital. The ultrasound showed that everything looked great with the baby and I was still having really strong contractions that I couldnt walk through or stand up through. It was an hour wait unitil I could see the doc so Andrew and I decided to go to walmart to walk around and get some things for breakfast. We grabbed some donuts and walked around the walmart shopping center until it was time to go back to the office.
At the office my doctor had been held up in surgery so they asked me if I wanted the midwife to check me. When she checked me I was 4-5 cm. As a woman that had reached 40 weeks at 'closed, high and thick" (cervix status) I shrieked in delight! I was going to the hospital to have our baby!!
We checked in and the aides were laughing at how excited we were and how they thought I was there for an induction because they couldnt tell I was in any pain.

We got checked in around 10. Got antibiotics, fluid, and a little while later an epidural. After the epidural I decided to settle in and try and relax. i was 6-7cm at this point. As I lay there listening to pandora (jesus culture) the presence of the holy spirit was thick. I felt completly drunk and at peace.
All of the anxiety over the birth and the sex of the baby dissaperead. Any fear about the baby's health was gone. All of a sudden I felt a ton of pressure. Andrew went to get the nurse who informed me I was complete and "not to push!!" while she got the doctor.

While we prepped and waited, there was such an atmosphere of joy in the room. We were all laughing and joking with the nurses and as I started to push they all took guesses on whether it was a boy or a girl.
As I pushed Catherine out one of the nurses told us that she knew it was a girl because the song on pandora was playing a verse... "glory , glory send your glory." everyone else called boy.
I pushed out her head and then the doc asked"are you ready??" as she pulled her body out slowly. She immediatley flipped her upside down and I got a clear shot.

I thought I was dreaming as I stared at those little baby girl parts. So precious and tiny. My world had just changed...I had a daughter. I had won the lottery of my heart. A desire so deep and sensitive, I had dared not even whisper it to my husband. Even so slightly I had sometimes whispered it to God.

My heart and joy were overwhelmed. I just started screaming and laughing. I mean really laughing. I said over and over as I held her tiny head on my bare chest, " I just can't believe it! I just can't believe it!" " I love you, I love you, I Love you."

Andrew followed her into her first bath after a joyous celebration and plenty of time to love on her. I got up and got in the tub. I filled it up and just sank back in the refreshment and awe of what had just happened. The whole pregnancy from beggining to end had been orchestrated by Catherines maker. From a pregnancy test reading positive early (a first), to the inclination we were not to find out the sex, to her ultrasound kidney issues, and the changing of her name half way through my pregnancy. His hand had been all over this and her.

I don't think I have come down off the high that is the realization of this sweet baby girl. To know her and love her and to watch her grow. It is different than the way I felt with each of the boys. There is more of a sense of wanting to protect her in every way. There is a vulnerability in my heart that I have to surrender her to the one who loves her most. As easy as it seems..it is hard...to trust Him with her precious life in this world.

Baby Catherine Glory, Whats is your story? let's make HIStory.

For This Child I Have Prayed...........

2011-06-18T16:46:00.000-07:00

Andrew and I were blessed with the birth of our beautiful daughter on June 10th, 2011. Catherine Glory weighed 8 pounds 1 oz and was 21 inches long. We did not know whether we were having a boy or a girl and are totally in love and shocked that we now have a beautiful little girl! I plan on documenting more about the pregnancy and her birth in another blog..whcih I hope to do more of..blogging. Here are some pics of our girl.

Role Reversal

2011-04-12T11:24:00.000-07:00

Andrew and I attended a friends birthday party on Saturday night. She had requested a talent show. At the last minute we decided to throw together a skit where we played/mocked each other and our roles int he family. It was fun to do and the image of Andrew in jeggings, heels, a maternity shirt, earrings, and my hat will make me laugh forever.

Addison's Third Birthday

2011-04-12T11:18:00.000-07:00

Judes friend Addison turned three and celebrated with a Dora themed birthday party. The boys had so much fun. Jenna did a great job planning a treasure hunt and making these cute favors. Titus hung out with little Davis. He kept saying "aww baby..aww cute!"

Busy Boys..

2011-04-12T11:02:00.000-07:00

Titus tree climbing at the Charles Pickney Site

Reading with my exercise band around his neck!

first egg hunt at alhambra- he had so much fun (19 mos)

walking with Miss Everleigh

Jude and Roman practising self-control

Roman (age 6) with lots of eggs

Jude wouldnt go near the bunny!

Dear Mom

2011-03-29T05:16:00.000-07:00

Ten years ago this month, I met Jesus in my dorm room. Nine years ago today my mother met him face to face. Eternity is not so far away and because of Him we have hope. I wrote this letter to my mom when I was pregnant with Jude and thought I should continue as I celebrate her life through the void I feel on the anniversary of her death.

(from 2007)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Dear Mom

I can't believe how time has flown since you left.So much has happened but it feels like you have been gone forever....I wish I could remember your face more clearly or how your voice sounded. There is so much you have missed and I miss you more every day. I can't wait to get to heaven tell you about the kind of woman I became... About how much I grew to love our Jesus....

We went to say good bye to you today ,mom. It was so surreal. I can't believe your gone. I can't comprehend that I could search the whole earth andI wouldn't be able to find you. When I saw your closed casket I wanted to tear it open. I wanted so badly to see you one more time, mom.Do I really have to go on without you?...

Andrew took me on our first date tonight, mom. You were right about how he sparkles. I think he is the one, mom. He even asked to hold my hand. He took me on a carriage ride around Charleston and then we ate at blossoms....

moved back in with dad today , mom. I was going to get an apartment with some of my friends but I didn't want dad to be alone. There is something familar and warm about being at home although there are memories of you around every corner...Sometimes I walk into the kitchen expecting to see you there...standing at the stove or coming down the stairs. I miss you so much mom...you made this house such a beautiful home....

Andrew asked me to marry him tonight mom.I am engaged! can you believe it? He washed my feet as Jesus did. He said he wanted to serve me forever. He dried my feet with a towel that was embroidered with "Lindsay will you marry me?." I am going to plan our wedding now, mom. Remember the dress we picked out a few weeks before you died? It was so silly. ..I didn't even have a boyfriend then. But I am so glad we did.That day was so special. You made me feel so beautiful! The dress you liked...that you said was your favorite....I am going to wear that dress, mom.

I got married today,mom.I missed you so much. We laid flowers for you...lillys..your favorite. It was such a beautiful day,mom. Now I am a wife. I found a letter that you started to write to me for my wedding day but you never finished..I wonder what you were going to say....What advice did you have for me...I miss you so so much, mom...

I graduated from college today, mom. I got two bachelors degrees. Can you believe it? I remember the summer before I started college you were so excited about it. Everywhere you went you would tell people that I was going to college. You were so proud.It has been hard, mom. After you died I wanted to quit. It was so hard to go back..but I knew you wanted me to finish. Tonight we had a graduation party. Dad gave me my present from you. A beautiful ring and a letter. You really thought of everything...I am going off into the real world now , mom....are you watching?

Roman James was born today,mom. A boy! He is the most beautiful baby. He looks like a Taylor. I gave him his middle name after your dad. I can't believe I am a mother. Now I realize how much love you had for me.I keep imagining how happy you would be...your a grandma,mom! Your first grandchild!..............

I finished my Masters degree today ,mom.I can only imagine how you would be throwing me the biggest party.It was hard work, mom. Especially having Romie and working, too.I rolled up my diploma and put it in the linen closet...I so badly wanted to call you and show it to you....

I am pregnant again,mom. Another boy! His name is going to be Jude Michael. I am so excited to have another son. You are going to be a grandma again. Roman is excited too. He often points to my tummy and says "Baby Dude." I am due March 15th right before the anniversary of your death...that time of year is so hard but God had given me another reason to rejoice.......

(cont. 2011)

Jude Michael is such a cute and spunky little boy. You would adore him! He had a rough second year of life and got really sick. There were so many times when I wished that you could have been with us. One night in particular we were at MUSC and he was so sick and dehydrated that they couldnt find a vein to get an IV. It made me think of all the times you had trouble with your veins and they collapsed when you were sick. It was almost too much to stand when they had to try his little head and feet. In a way I think that maybe God prepared me for that night. I know that he uses everything for our good. My heart so badly wanted you there through all of that.

When Jude was about a year we found out we were expecting another baby, a boy! Three sons, mom! Can you believe that!? Titus Reed was born in September and I am sure you had a great seat at that show! He has added so much to our little family. So often when I am playing with them I think of you and how much you would be eating them up. The simple things in life are so much fun with them. I wish you could just come and give them all a bath together so you could see what kind of fun and crazy is my normal. I experience so much joy in being their mommy.

Andrew and I have been reading a book about this little boy that went to heaven. It has made me so much more excited aout eternity and where you are. To be reminded that we really will be reunited and that you will be with your grandsons. I just cant wait to hug your neck!

In the latest news, I am pregnant..again! Due in less than 3 monthes. We dont know if we are having a boy or a girl..but I am sure you know. I have a feeling you have already held your grandchild and called it by name. God is so good.Thank you for teaching me up until your last moments what it is to be a daughter of the King.Thank you for loving Him so much and never giving up on me, that I would one day love Him too. Thank you for teaching me how to be a mother through memories that I pull out of my childhood.

Thank you for leaving me snippets of what it will be like as we are ushered into his presence..and thank you for breathing and shouting out through your pain in those last moments, that you love me. Your wisdom and selflessness continued until the end and long after you were gone.

I love you more than words can say and my heart misses you more every moment.

Your Loving Daughter,

Lindsay

Pirate Party- Jude you are Three!

2011-03-24T17:41:00.000-07:00

I can't believe Jude is three.We celebrated last weekend with our family at the Daniel Island Pirate Playground. He asked for a pirate ship cake with Ariel and nemo. We did a little treasure hunt and the kids played. I have so much fun planning and creating their birthday parties. I have started making a little book for each of their birthday parties so they can remember them and all the detail I put into them.

Jude is so amazing. I told him yesterday I wanted to bottle him up so I could go back and experience him when he is all grown up.He told me that he wouldnt fit in a bottle because he is growing bigger. Physically he is intoxicating with his big blue eyes and soft blonde curls. He is testing the boundaries and figuring things out, asking more and more questions, and showing so much love to his brothers, Drew and I. He comes up with the cutest sayings and doenst like being called anything but "ju ju bean." Even though, I have a million pet names for him.

When he can tell that we are frustrated with him, he will say: "Don't be fus-tated..just be my mommy/daddy/Roman." So precious!

Jude Update

2011-03-01T15:58:00.000-08:00

We visited MUSC with Jude today. For a number of reasons we havnt been since we started him on solid food again. They were very pleased with his height and weight gain. Jude LOVES going to see his Peds GI Dr. Pillai. He is an indian doctor and is so good with him. The nurses and Dr. Pillai also love Jude. Pillai asked Jude if he could take him home and Jude says "Yes, Dr Pie, I go home wiff you and take care of you." Then when I was talking to Dr. P, Jude says , "excuse me Dr. Pie, I wuvs you." Dr.Pillai gave Jude an early birthday present- a camo stuffed monkey and even told me how wonderful Judes manners were...and that was a credit to me :) ha! I told him we are working on it ;)

The plan is to continue him on a modified diet with his peptamen jr. to ensure continued weight gain. We will see them again in 6 mos from now. They were considering a rescope of the upper next month and after I questioned it, they are on board with waiting until after his next evaluation :)

We have also stopped all meds all together. Praise God!

Wildlife Expo and Pregnancy at 24 weeks

2011-02-20T16:34:00.000-08:00

We had such a blessed weekend attending the SEWE. Roman and Jude loved feeding all the animals in the petting zoo and being able to touch the zebra. They both liked attempting the rock climbing wall and the jumpcastle slides.

I am 24 weeks this week in pregnancy number 4! I am so excited to meet this baby..June 15th cannot come soon enough! Any guesses on what we are having?

LapBooks

2011-02-05T04:31:00.000-08:00

Jude and Roman have been working on lapbooks. It is a fun concept to take an idea that they are intrested in and make multiple lessons around it. For insance Roman has been very into tornados. In his lapbook (which is a folder with printable sections pasted inside) he has learned about the states that make up tornado alley, the seasons for tornados, where he lives in relation to tornado alley, tornado vocab words, tornado safety, practise writing the words tornado and bible versus that have to do with fear.
We also made a pet tornado so he can swirl a glass jar and make a tornado anytime and we borrowed lots of books from the library.

Links that I love for these:

http://www.homeschoolshare.com/tornado.php

http://www.squidoo.com/spacelapbook

http://www.1plus1plus1equals1.com/RaisingRockStars.html

First Haircut

2011-02-02T03:58:00.000-08:00

No worries, you didn't miss the post for Judes first haircut...I know you were concerned :) He will be three in March and has yet to have a haircut. At Andrews insistence we took Titus to get his haircut this past weekend. We arrived with our arsenal of suckers, ice cream and candy. The first time Roman got his haircut he cried and cried and tried to get out of the chair. Titus started crying as soon as they put the cape on him. He sat very still but cried through the whole thing. he looks like a little boy now. So sweet.

Titus is now 16 mos and is running around and talking more and more. He loves to say "hi" and "byee" :dadeeeee" "mommy" JU-Juuddde" and "roman". Anything he sees that resembles a dog, he smiles and says so happily.."Doogggggie." The other day it was a book on grizzly bears. He loves to play with blocks and sit and look at books.
He is signing please, thank you, and more. he sleeps consistantly 12 hours and loves his morning and afternoon naps. He hates having his diaper changed and getting dressed. The boys just want to be naked :)

Love that he will still be the baby for a few more monthes. He is such a perfect addition to our family and we love him to pieces.

My Sweet Baby and The King of Glory

2011-01-28T11:00:00.000-08:00

It's such a cliche question to wonder how you can love someone you have never met? When I saw that face this morning I was so in love. No less, the forth time than I was the first time. I marvel at the bones and the heart chambers. The blood pulsing through the umbilical cord. Its tiny mouth opening and closing. You are Indeed, fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well!

When I found I was pregnant with this one, I had the inclination that we shouldn't find out the sex. It was a strange thought to me. I am a planner as much as the next woman. I like to have all my ducks in a row, clothes in the closet, bedding picked out, nursery decorated, name embroidered on the hospital hat etc etc. That thought turned into a converstion with my husband, then some persauding, then it became more concrete and how do we go about planning in unplanning.ha! I have come more and more to like the idea of not planning for this baby, not being able or wanting to buy anything and just focusing on my boys and enjoying the whole experience without any of the stuff that we have come to think "should" be a part of the experience.

Then we went to the ultrasound.

The first few weeks of pregnancy usually drag on... waiting until this day. The week and days and hours before are torture.... and then sitting in the waiting room is agony! just let me know, already!! But today, was different, I didn't have a desire to know. I was glad I wasn't going to have to make a big announcement. (I am aware that after having 3 sweet boys, there are alot of people rooting for us to have a girl!!) just for the record: I would love to have four boys and whatever we have I am confident in the Lords soverign plan!

During the first ten minutes of the ultrasound I just wanted it to be over. I was so nervous we were actually going to be able to see "something" that would ruin my plan!! I was all jittery," get what you need and get on with it".

A little while into looking around the tech asked me if "kidney problems" run in my family. I told her I had one kidney and the left one was removed as a teenager. I was aggravated with her questions and anxious for her to tell me what in the heck was going on. Apparantly, the babies left kidney is full of fluid which means it is either low functioing or not functioning. We wont know until after birth and they run some tests. Right now all we can do is pray for the right kidney to be strong and healing for the left. We will go back regularly to check on things.

I am confident in my God. I am confident in His promises and I am so glad that this is in His hands and not mine. I am also comforted knowing that you can lead a healthy and active life with one kidney :)

Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, I attended a womens retreat. One of the exercises was to ask God for a single word. The girl sitting next to me and I (individually) recieved the word GLORY. I didnt know what to do with it at the time besides store it away in my heart. Today I felt the King of Glory(s) presence nudging me to declare that this whole process will work for His glory.

Laughing....

2011-01-26T15:54:00.000-08:00

This morning I read in Proverbs 31. This verse caught my attention, She is clothed with Strength and dignity, she can laugh at the days to come. I just love that visual and language. Laughing at the days to come. That means she has no fear, no anxiety. Just joy, hope, and expectation. WOW!

Can you imagine if I lived my life laughing at the days to come? What would that look like? To be abandoned and walking in the spirit so much , that I could laugh. Laugh at that IRS bill. Laugh at that medical report. Laugh that our house has been on the market and we havnt had a showing.

I want to laugh! I want to look at the future with the knowledge and assurance that my God and my savior has it covered. In order to to that I need to walk outside of my flesh and the here and now. The fleshful Lindsay that says: "we can't cover that bill..we dont have the money.... Its been a long time and this medicine is so experimental Jude will never be better.... The housing market is so bad, noone will want to buy our house."

Maybe next time I get some "bad" news or recieve a piece of mail that isn't pleasing, I will laugh. Laugh outloud in an effort to train my heart and spirit and as an act of worship in telling my Lord." I love you, I know you, I trust you..and I am yours."

Philippians 4:6-7

Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don't forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ.

Psalms 40:1-3

I waited patiently for God to help me; then He listened and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out from the bog and the mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God. Now many will hear of the glorious things He did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in Him.

1 Peter 5:7

Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you.

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Preggo Progress-20 Weeks

2011-01-24T08:09:00.000-08:00

So, here we are..half way through our forth pregnancy! Where has the time gone? We are having our ultrasound at musc on Friday.The anticipation is even different this time..not counting the days to find out the sex of our baby. I just really dont care to know at this point. I think it will be so fun to wait until we meet him or her. I am excited to see how the baby is doing and to get some good 4d pictures.

Andrew and Roman have both felt the baby move in the last week! Last night Jude asked if the baby was kicking adn I said ,no. He asked if the baby was hungry, and I said, no. Then he asked if he could go inside my tummy too, so cute!

This pregnancy has been a little different in a few ways. The baby's heart rate is around 160 where my other babes where in the 140-150 range. I have had more headaches and nausea. I have been less hungry and just eating because I have to. With my others i always wanted to eat- pizza, fries, carbs etc. I have been eating alot of salad and drinking alot of lemonade.

I have had a rough week. I thought I was fighting allergies from cleaning our house for sale but its getting worse and now I am miserable and Dr. has prescribed me antibiotics. yesterday was a busy day and I had alot of cramping and rested all afternoon and was passed out asleep by 8. Then this morning I was walking around fixing breakfast, picking up, and all of a sudden my heartrate shot up to over 200bmp. As an active workout enthusiast in my hardest workout I have gotten up to 190...and did not feel like my heart was about to explode out of my chest. This was scary and stayed that way while I was lying down for about 5 minutes. Waiting on the Dr. to see if shes concerned or if its just pregnancy blood volume deal.

It def is a busy season of potty training, homeschooling, selling a house, taxes, babies, baking a baby, and ministry. We are excited about 2011 and cant wait to meet this little person!

2011-01-23T16:18:00.001-08:00

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Jude busting a move or two

2011-01-23T16:15:00.001-08:00

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Dedication at New Day Church

2011-01-23T15:56:00.000-08:00

Jude and Titus were dedicated this morning. It was so much fun to have our family come to church and join us for lunch. It was a very personal dedication as Scott and Stephanie (pastors) had prayed for a prophetic word and scripture for each of the children. We love our church!

Jude: We see a worshiper and passionate lover of Jesus.Jude is a deep well.full of wisdom. We see him having a deep relationship with the Lord, like John the apostle had with Jesus,
Psalm 42:7-8
Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.
8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

Titus:
Matthew 6:22 “The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy,your whole body will be full of light.

We see a bright sword, a shining light. Titus is sharp. He has a single vision and a single heart. Like a sword, he is going to cut through, and go where he wishes. he is going to be passionate about the Lord and about the justice of the Lord

Thank u nana

2011-01-11T20:18:00.001-08:00

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Writing on the wall

2011-01-04T05:53:00.001-08:00

Excited about the before of repainting the kitchen and having freedom to write scripture on the walls during worship ..the boys helped too.

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A Royal Affair

2010-12-21T11:12:00.000-08:00

If you havn't been living under a rock you will know that Prince William heir to the British throne proposed to long time girlfriend Kate Middleton on a vacay to Kenya last month. Growing up in England, I am by birthright a Royal watcher. Most little girls begin dressing up as Princessess when they are about two years old, even in this country when the closest you get to Royalty as a little girl are Disney movies and maybe the real thing at a trip to Dinseyworld or Disney on Ice. When I was a little girl I decided to write a letter to Prince Harry asking him to marry me. I completed it with two boxes. check one for yes and one for no. Buckingham Palace replied thanking me for my kind regards and my dad read the letter at my wedding. So it is intriguing that for the first time in 350 years a woman like myself, a commoner, will (most likley) not only become a princess but will be Queen.

The night Princess Diana died my mom came and layed in bed with me and we cried together. We mourned the loss of an icon and an English Rose whom we had come to love, as well as a mother to two young boys.
Looking back on my mothers style of dress during those years I presume she looked to Diana as a fashion muse. Even my mothers engagement ring reminds me of the one Diana and now Kate will wear...a diamond surrounded by sapphires and Dianas; a sapphire surrounded by diamonds.(to be cont,,,)

2010-11-19T12:19:00.005-08:00

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2010-11-19T12:19:00.003-08:00

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Our new baby

2010-11-19T12:19:00.001-08:00

I got so behind in blogging I am not even sure if I announced our pregnancy on here! Anyway, We are so excited that we are expecting baby number four. I can't believe it- this from a woman who wanted maybe one or two kids! That was before I knew what an amazing job being a mommy is. I believe this will be the last hurrah but who knows what God has planned. We are not planning on finding out the sex although I am sure its a boy- we DO make really cute lil boys. We are due on June 15th and I cannot wait. I know it will be here before I know it!

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Chocolate face

2010-11-19T12:16:00.003-08:00

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2010-11-19T12:13:00.003-08:00

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First elephant ride for jude

2010-11-19T12:13:00.001-08:00

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Fair with uncle ross

2010-11-19T12:12:00.001-08:00

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First rollercoaster ride!

2010-11-19T12:11:00.001-08:00

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Visiting ms. lois...our neighbour

2010-11-19T12:10:00.001-08:00

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Blanket time

2010-11-19T12:09:00.001-08:00

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Playing on daniel island

2010-11-19T12:08:00.001-08:00

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Waterweek!!

2010-11-09T05:22:00.001-08:00

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Playdate with Grace at the playground

2010-10-25T09:44:00.001-07:00

The Boys love playing with their cousin, Grace. They got sweaty and dirty running around with her. Auntie bought a pizza for lunch and Titus discovered his love for the slide!

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2010-10-19T09:06:00.001-07:00

Telling me all about his rock

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Ti at 13 mos.

2010-10-18T15:30:00.001-07:00

Love that fatroll in his leg.

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Busy Start to October...

2010-10-12T11:30:00.000-07:00

We attended our homeschool support groups fall kickoff. It was so much fun- a big potluck and the boys got their face painted by a highschool student. Jumpcastles, food, and friends and they were some happy boys!

This is Judes favorite puzzle right now. When he puts the last piece in. it makes a train whistle sound. He is really good at doing these kind of things by himself.

I went away last weekend to the Priscilla Shrier Going Beyond Conference.It was so much fun. Jenna, Lisa, Katie, and I shared a hotel room and went out to eat a couple times. I love the tools I learned to use in my bible study...and Priscilla can BRING IT!

Learning about Turtles

A trip to the childrens museum on a friday morning

maybe I can get one of these at home...for time outs..

not sure at what point i thought it would be a good idea to take all three into andolinis to use my groupon for lunch....

Roman is loving soccer and doing really well! He plays soo hard and scored two goals last week. He has made some good friends and loves that his daddy is the coach.

Apples and Nests

2010-09-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

painting pumpkins

making apple cider donuts

Titus approves.

apple bobbing- apples float because they are 25 % air

working on his apple book

collecting straw to make a nest

every nest needs some mud

so fun to be brothers learning together!

We enjoyed our week last week learning about apples. Johnny appleseed and the kind of fruit that we can grow (the fruit of the spirit). We apple-bobbed, made an apple book, read and watched about johnny apple seed. This week we are learning about nests and different kinds of homes that animals live in. So far we have made real nests, made nests out of chow mein noodles and chocolate, read about birds and their nests, read "are you my mother." Daily we continue with math and reading as well as bible memory.

My Little Monkey is One

2010-09-23T12:13:00.000-07:00

We had such a fun celebration for Titus first birthday with our family over for a monkey themed celebration.Titus had his own banana shaped smash cake. He loved opening his presents and playing in the ball pit from nana and pappy. When we sang him happy birthday he clapped and got all excited. He started walking a few days before his birthday and had everyone laughing. He has such a silly goofy side of him that I just love. At his 12 month appointment today he weighed 25 pounds. This put him in the category of 95 % height and head and 75% in weight.

Tree Unit- I will Live and Grow in Jesus

2010-09-13T12:34:00.000-07:00

Why?

2010-09-10T18:07:00.000-07:00

Thats a question I get alot as I have started to homeschool Roman. (Sometimes its from a bagger at the grocery store asking why hes not "in school?" or a neighbour accosting me as I get my children into the van in the driveway asking " How are you going to get him socialized?") It is so much more common now.I have just as many friends homeschooling as those who dont. It's not an quick answer but I hope you enjoy reading my story from never to now.

Never say Never...humble pie
Andrew and I met and discussed marriage and children, we both agreed we would never homeschool our children. I tried to find the blog I wrote a couple of years ago on why I was not a fan of homeschooling, but couldn't. You may be able to if you search the archives. My reasoning behind not homeschooling was for a few reasons. 1) I felt that most parents I had known tended to make the decision based on FEAR. fear of what their child would learn, be exposed to, fear of being away from them, fear for their safety. I would never want to make a decision based in fear. Perfect love drives out fear.2) I thought that as we were called to be the light of the world(matt 5:14) it didn't make sense and went against everything I thought as an evangelical Christ follower to keep my kids home "behind closed doors." Now I believe so strongly that no 5 year old is ready to peach the gospel or is prepared for their purpose and that we MUST whether we homeschool or not prepare them in their formative years for whatever God has called them to do, so that they can go out and be salt and light. 3) Andrew and I were youth minsters for a time and alot of the kids we saw that were homeschooled were socially akward and that turned us off. Thank goodness for team sports and so many organizations and good friends to meet up with . This is the least of my worries.

The Decision:
When it was time to start thinking about where Roman would go to school We had always thought of a private christian school. Through discussion we realized with 3 (plus?) kids and private school tuition that it was for us not going to mesh with our financial goals to get out of debt and live in freedom in that area. That was the first time God pushed me to consider homeschooling. It was the only feasable option since we didnt feel that public school was right for Roman at this age.

Shutting Down and a Love of Learning
As I pursued ideas, curriculums, how the whole deal would work with a toddler and an infant. God just kept confirming it through people and curriculum and supplies and provision. When you step out in faith..GOD provides and guides. I kept on going throughout the summer in the direction I felt that God was leading me in. One day I was reading a book about Charlotte Mason (For the childrens sake by susan schaeffer macaulay) and God gave me a revelation and clarity as to why I was to home school Roman in this season. If you don't know..Charlotte Mason was a pioneer in Christian education in the early 1900's. Her ideas are amazing and revolutionary. She talks about creating an atmosphere and a love of education. Her thought was that sometimes this can be stifiled in a typical school settting because a child can't fully explore an area before they are shuttled off by a bell or cut off because of other needs in the classroom. Anyway, I digress. There was a portion in the book where she talked about the grading system and how at a young age it can shut down a childs love of learning, motivation, and self esteem when they are compared to someone who is learning "differently" than they are. Maybe they get a C because they are learning slower or learn differently than the method being used in the classroom. It was such a GOD MOMENT for me. Roman is the kind of kid that doesnt like to try anything unless he thinks he can do it perfectly and he shuts down when he feels like he has failed. At this young age I want him to love learning and be free to learn how he learns best and at the pace he can go at. I dont want him to shut down and feel like he isn't good at school (this is what happened to Andrew..another reason for homeschooling) before he has even begun.

On the Stairs....
I remember overhearing someone saying how they were going to be dropping this kid off here and this child off here and have to go home then get the baby up..come back to get in this carpool line and then this one and I just thought....I could be using that time at home with them in this precious season. I once had a precious mentor who told me she looked at her son walking down the stairs packed and heading off to college and she thought..." have I done everything I could, said everything I could, taught him everything I could, and prepared him the best I could...for this moment?" This has truly stuck with me for years in my parenting. When Roman leaves home I want to know that I used every precious and fleeting moment and every opportunity to prepare him for his God given role in life.

Preach it Roman...
So the younger Lindsay who thought she shouldnt homeschool so that our children could be salt and light had good reasons and intentions. What she didn't consider is that the ages of 5-8 are some of the most impressinable, moldable, and formable years in a childs life. they are learning and constructing at an amazing rate. When I learned about this age group and the development that takes place in a GFI class it made me consider that I wanted to be the one to lay the foundation in his life, and I can, because I am blessed to be a full time stay at home mom.

Moral Why...

I love the concept in GFI of a morally beautiful child. I want to lay a strong foundation for Roman where he knows and has real experiences with God. I want him to develop a strong understanding of who He is, Gods purpose for him, and the why of Gods standard before he is allowed to fly. Read our family statement here for more. When it comes down to what we know, you can have all the academic knowledge and accolades, and career success, all the things and fun that money can buy...but without Christ you have nothing. I want salvation for my sons and for me, laying a strong foundation, and allowing them more time with us to see God will only help in this.

It will be easier on you.....

I was out the other day and I met a lady and we discussed doing lunch when her kids started school. I told her that I homeschooled . After learning that I lived in the best school district. She told me I should send them because it would be so much easier on me. Easier? why yes, all carpool lanes and first day jitters aside, it probably would be easier. But is that the goal? Is this lifes goal for it to be easy? Maybe yes, if this life is all there is. But I am a lady with an eternal perspective. I could put my kids in school, preschool, moms day out...hit the gym..go to lunch..take a nap ..la la la...and there is nothing wrong with doing those things!and yes, It would be easier! But it is not what I am called to do.(John 16:33)(Mark 8:34) Or what you are called to do. You may not be called to homeschool but you are not called to easy either. The last month has been tough on me. I havn't been in the word as much as I should and I have depended too much on my own strength. I realize I have a standard for my day that is my own and is silly. I am trying to let it go and to know that regardless of how and when things get done. It WILL be okay. But it shouldn't ever get easy :)

SOAPBOX: My Kids Turned out just fine and we did (insert blank)...

thats great. fine is not my standard. and through being "fine" they probably had alot of unneccessary struggles along the way.

A Few Bonusus

Instead of spending 7? hours a day in class, Roman and I spend about two hours in reading, writing, math, science, and bible study. then he gets to play and be a boy and be outside etc

He has more bonding time with me and his brothers

I get to teach him what he is intrested in and at the pace he can go. If he gets a concept..we move
on.

I see Motherhood as the greatest ministry I could ever be called to and if your a mom, whatever you see best for your own children, I hope you love this minsitry as much as I do.xo.

Our Vision as The Page Family

2010-09-10T10:54:00.000-07:00

In this family it is our goal and desire to demonstrate love in all things. To cultivate an atmosphere of education and a love of learning.To develop a knowledge of God and the things of God and His righteousness. To provide a family culture where miracles are experienced in the realm of the supernatural. To pray spoken prayers out loud and flow in praise together as they are answered. To establish a standard to treat everyone we come in contact with as "precious", as well as all of our things and others things. In this family we persevere when its hard, staying focused on His face. We are the Page Team and we choose forgiveness. We choose love.

Sunrise Cup Puppet. God made the sun in the sky.

2010-09-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

Homeschool Week 2 and 3

2010-09-09T11:25:00.000-07:00

Wow, is homeschooling alot of work.Seriously, it is an adjustment. I think maybe God called me to it this year more for me than anything else. To slow down, to practise discipline, to learn again in a new way, to spend more quality with my kids than less, to learn and memorize scripture daily.

I really love it despite the challenges and am so grateful for so much support and encouragement around me.

Roman has started to read little sentances and loves learning about the moon this week. he is such a big help with his brothers and had his first soccer practise last night. Andrew is his coach and I loved watching them. This boy can dribble a ball and is probably the biggest kid on his team.

Jude has started eating rice and broccoli. He is repeating everything Roman does and says. He is fascinated with the wiggles. The sweetest thing is to see Roman and Jude developing a strong bond. I know that having Roman home this year will enable that also. I often turn around in the car and they are holding hands or Roman is resting his head in Judes lap.

Titus is speed crawling and starting to stand by himself. He is so much more advanced than the other two were at one. Can you believe I am planning his first birthday? He talks all the time, repeats words, and is always figuring out how to get to what he wants. He also has some signing going on which i love!

hanging out with Grace

Creation Unit/Creation Book

working on alphabet spoons

picking a peach from the tree in creation unit

sundial making for our sundial unit

looking at a trapped hummingbird on the porch

playtime with Bernice

Pay attention to me Jude!!!!!

2010-08-23T19:10:00.000-07:00

We had run out of diapers so the boys were in their reusable swim diapers- Jude insisted on wearing the matching hat :) I heard them laughing and came in and caug.ht this

Homeschooling

2010-08-23T18:32:00.000-07:00

someone forgot to watch the baby while we were doing school:)

Letter writing in a salt tray- but this time "i made a cross , mama!"

Blue pudding and marshmallows for when God created the sky and water

Jude doing one of his preschool bag activities

Roman started Kindergarten last week. We decided to homeschool this year for many reasons which will be written in another blog. We had so much fun. My desire for him is to cultivate an atomosphere of education in our home and a true LOVE for learning. We started day one with the first day of creation. Everyday we did reading, writing, math, a day of creation, art in making a creation book..and of course in true charlotte mason style...he had lots of time to play with his brothers, run outside, nap, and focus on some "moral training." Each day we also had a "special" snack which represented the day of creation we studied. We also went and picked peaches off the trees in the neighbourhood for the third day when God created the fruits and seeds of the eart,,wonder how those whole foods, organic peaches got there? ha!

fieldtrip to see brand new kittens

2010-08-05T13:49:00.000-07:00

our friends cat had new kittens and Roman was soooo excited to go and see them. Roman and Jude loved them and were very gentle with them. The babies enjoyed some yummy noodles for lunch while the big kids played.

Birthday Princesses

2010-08-04T07:59:00.000-07:00

Roman, Jude, and Titus helped their sweet baby friends celebrate their first birthday. Everleigh and Greta Kate are just the sweetes baby girls and we love them to pieces. I had the joy of making their cake and we all loved watching them eat it. They got given the cutest butterfly outfits and ere crawling around in them! So sweet!

Roman Teaching Jude Preschool

2010-07-30T12:32:00.000-07:00

Get Fit With Lindsay

2010-07-29T13:54:00.000-07:00

Here it is. My new blog on all things health and fitness related. Please read and let me know what you want to read/ see on there!

http://getfitwithlindsay.blogspot.com/

Turtles, Sit time, and Taco Boy

2010-07-27T19:20:00.000-07:00

Today while Roman was practising self- control, Titus crawled over and sat between his legs! Jude used to do this too when he was a baby! When Jude was old enough he started practising with Roman...who we tell is a great example to even his littlest brother. We bought the boys a water table from some friends.They love it. So cute to see Titus splashing.

Andrew also brought home a real turtle for Jude from the Pages house in Hampton. We let it go in the pond behind our house. Jude has been asking about his turtle that went swimming in the Pool. Jude you are so cute! Daddy also brought back lots of blueberries..Titus's favorite!!!

We took Jude to MUSC on Monday. He had gained a pound and grown! We are excited to schedule his scopes to see if his EO levels are down. If they are, we can slowly reintroduce food!yay!!!!!!!

To celebrate we went to taco boy for lunch. We let Jude drink his special juice the Dr. gave him out of a special glass and let him stick his stickers on his face. A good time was had by all!

Lake Keowee

2010-07-25T19:00:00.000-07:00

We had so much fun spending a couple nights at the lake with Andrews mom and dad, cousin Mandi and hubby David, cousin Sheri, Wes and Denise, Grandma Suzanne, and some other family. Andrew and I went kayaking Saturday morning. I love to kayak. In high school I was a competitive rower and I just love being out on the water--It was clear and we could see the mountains. After we were done we went back to get the boys. Drew took Roman and I took Jude. They were so cute enjoying it with us. Later on Andrew and I went tubing. I must say (insert bragging tone) I did great. I think Perry (Drews dad) used every technique in the book to throw me off ;) I think P90x developed biceps and shoulders coupled with the technique I developed to stay partially on my knees at times and then on my belly was the real trick. I even pulled myself (insert bragging tone again) up out of the water onto the tube probably six times in a row,ahhh...so much fun! I can't wait to get the video of us- we even tried standing up. Jude loved the boat and hesitantly- okay, forceably got onto the tube with Andrew while Pappy drove the boat back at about .3 miles per hour. Roman loved diving and jumpingoff the dock and the boat- for hours!! just how little boys should be spending their summers! On the way up I read part of managers of their homes and got even more inspired to make a new schedule for the school year. It is so good to remember and focus on your "why" of doing things so you can develop the "how." If we are to make the most of our time and lives then we must live purposefully and plan/manage our time and chidlrens time.

Jude Talking and Titus Walking

2010-07-17T19:23:00.000-07:00

Things have really been "happening" around here lately. Jude has become such a little communicator. All of a sudden he is talking in sentances and making connections. It is so amazing! its like finally- my baby understands the world and can communicate his needs to me. He can ask me for things and I understand. He can tell me "he is sad" or he "wants Ju-Judes turtle." He refers to himself as "Ju-Jude" still and he calls his brother 'Tice" which has made me nickname him and start calling him "Ticy" which, I know, is horrible , but I cant stop ;) To add to the excitement :::::: all of the things we have been working on with Jude "training" wise have been clicking. Some examples:

1) For the most part he comes to me when I call him the first time.
2) When I give him an instruction he says "es mama" or "o-tay mama"
3) When he burps he says "scuuussseee me"
4) When I ask him to show me self control (demonstrated by folding his hands and getting quiet) he does it right away and calmes down.
5) When he is done with an activity in his high chair we ask that he tells us all done rather than throwing it on the floor...he has started doing this.
6) when i ask him to clean up from "room time" he actually did it the first time!!! while i was downstairs.

So so proud of him and cannot wait to go to musc on the 26th. I want to feed him so badly but I want him to be healed more than my desire to feed him. Lord, make my baby whole!

Titus is speed crawling and walking with his walker. He is also climbing the stairs. He is such a sweet and laid back little guy.well, actually he is not really little, at all. he is a chunk of love. Yup, if he had a reality show he would be chunk of love. i cannot put into words how much he adores his daddy and brothers. Also his bapa and pappy. He has an inclination towards men :) With a name like "TITUS" you best be a mans man, I guess. He also just started signing "more" and "all done" at ten months. its no less amazing the third time around!!

Roman is about to take his first vacation without mommy and daddy to the lake with pappy and nana. He is SOOOOOO excited! We packed his bag and backpack tonight. We have also watched tubing videos on youtube to show him what he will be doing! He also has his first two loose teeth! We read the tooth fairy book alot and he has taken to eating lots of apples to speed up the process.here is a video of Titus "walking."

Love my boys!!!!!

The Zoo With a Few

2010-07-12T12:32:00.000-07:00

We took the boys to the Columbia Zoo on Sunday afternoon. It was so much fun and Judes and Titus first time. Jude was amazing to watch. He was in awe of everything. I wonder if he thought lions, giraffes, and elephants were only on the tv and his Noah's Ark books? he loved seeing the big tortoises and we got to feed some nectar to some birds. I think the highlight was the grizzly bears who were playful and were jumping into the pool to cool off and playing with each other. You should have heard Roman laughing the first time the bear did that.It was also so perfect that the 3d feature was showing "a turtle adventure" Jude was a little scared at first but really enjoyed the turtles swimming right towards him. The highlight for Roman was climbing the rockwall. He asked if he could do it and i doubted he would really want to after he got ready to go or would look down and be done. he amazes us. He climbed to the top multiple times and had a blast! Just like spiderman!! Titus enjoyed looking at the gorillas and hanging out in the stroller. After we left we drove through downtown columbia and the boys enjoyed looking at all the skyscrapers.

Freedom and a Toy Story

2010-07-07T18:12:00.000-07:00

We had a great weekend celebrating the fourth of July. We had a cook out at my dads house and even did fireworks for the first time with the boys.I couldnt believe we found a turtle for Jude..so much fun! Roman even got brave and held a roman candle- or something like that. I found this smocked outfit in the closet for Titus , I must have got it at a consignment or yard sale a while ago and forgot. He was just too cute.

Titus is eating his weight in blueberries lately. Andrew and I were blessed to go on a date night this Monday and had so much fun at Brixx and then walking on the pitt street bridge as the sun was setting and fireworks were going off. Over dinner Andrew asked if I remembered how much Jude loved blueberries and how much he used to eat them and ask for them. I told him I didnt remember and burst into tears.It seems so long ago that I could feed him. I feel so blessed that he is doing well ( we think) but I guess I didnt realize how much it has affected me Jude wanting and asking for food lately. Its also been so challenging to discern some behavioral issues from physcial needs/acting out. I have been fighting to stay in the word because many days I feel like a failure. Which I know is not true but its where I am at alot lately.

Anyway, on a brighter note. We also took the boys to see Toy Story 3. Roman wore his woody costume and Jude wore the buzz light year wings and insisted on his red boots...with a smocked turtle outfit.Everyone was ooing and aahing at them. A little girl even asked her mom and dad if she could sit next to "woody."

Growing Boys

2010-06-30T12:25:00.000-07:00

These little ones are growing so fast and becoming more fun by the second. Titus is 9 mos and full on crawling and pulling up. He likes to crawl around blowing raspberries. he love talking to his daddy on the phone, opening his mouth and placing his face on you- a kiss maybe? Titus loves his brothers and laughs hysterically at them most of the day. He has the brightest bluest eyes and is super laid back. We just love him to pieces. What a perfect addition to our family.

Jude has started talking and communicationg better. He is putting together sentances and is just so funny. He always has us at some place between exasperated and hysterical laughter with his antics. When I tell him to do something lately he will say "o-tay, mama" or when he falls down ..which is often..and he is a climber..he will get up and say "Ju-Jude O-tay, Ju-Jude O-tay, mama." Jude still loves turtles and dogs and when he sees one he looks at me and ask "pet?." He is still doing really well on his all liquid diet and we cannot wait to go to the doctor at the end of July to see where we are at in the whole deal.

Roman and I have been working on some school stuff at home. We are going to homeschool for kindergarten...and thats a whole other blog in itself..even writing those words brings about so much emotion. Anyway, Roman is doing really well with his letters and numbers. At the moment his favorite things are outer space and going to the library. This summer he is enjoying swimming and he is so good at it! We have been trying to go to the waterpark and pool as much as we can. Roman LOVES his brothers..although he and Jude have started the whole brotherly arguing thing lately. Roman always wants to take care of titus and go get Titus from his crib etc.It is so sweet.

bahamas to the real world...

2010-06-05T12:56:00.000-07:00

ha! Im back! So much for my everyday blogging...i guess i did good until i went on vacation. I went the the bahamas with some of my besties in the middle of April. To say we had a blast is an understatement..it was amazing...God truly blessed every minute of it. I felt so refreshed to be out of my life and with these women.... to have a conversation that wasn't interupted. I truly came back loving each of them more and knowing each of them more. I also felt refreshed and energized to get back to life....what a beautiful memory I will take with me in life... here are some pics....

2010-04-11T17:31:00.000-07:00

SUMMER!!!!!!!!!!

2010-04-09T20:37:00.001-07:00

We broke out the baby pool this week! what??!! oh..and we went to the beach!!! wait- did i blog that already..probably..anyway, baby pool pics! so fun.

I love how Jude took the slide and moved it to a puddle.BOYS!! they rock. You lay out this brand new baby water pool/park with sprinklers and a slide and a hoop toss and then attach the slip n slide and they take the slide off the pool TO A PUDDLE!!! He is so funny lately.His swim shorts were showing his hynie crack and I said "Jude, I can see your hynie." what does he do? He shakes his hynie to the side and makes a pooting noise. ha!

Butt Buster

2010-04-07T12:23:00.000-07:00

Ecc 1:7 All the rivers flow to the sea, but the sea never becomes full.

My scripture today ties into what God was teaching me yesterday!! He is so Good!

Can I get an amen??

I can bust my butt all day picking up and keeping my house clean today and its just going to take one meal or one kid running in after playing to make it "unclean" and to start the cycle again. Its part of the curse. It is part of living in a sinful world.I believe it was John Eldredge who said we slay the dragon and we have to slay it again...and again. (until we reach heaven). It takes a very purposeful spirit to let it go or to say no to certain responsibilities in order to LIVE. I keep telling myself that i dont want my boys to remember a mom who was always sweeping the floor or (facebooking,on the phone, running errands, shopping etc). and it is so HARD. I love this scripture because it reminds me to keep my eyes focused on whats important.The things that wont become "undone" the second i sit down. Like making an eternal difference in peoples lives, like fillling up my boys spiritual and moral "warehouses."

Better....

2010-04-06T18:01:00.001-07:00

Joy comes with the morning...a very early morning! I woke up at two to get titus...i think in yesterdays craziness we missed a feeding...anyway, and then I couldnt get back to sleep so i cleaned my house..To let you know how messy it was the downstairs took 3 hours and i do not have a big house! After that I worked out and got ready to take the boys to the beach! We had such a fun day at the beach and i scored roman a boogie board at WAVES for 5 bucks! He was so thrilled! Titus loved to eat the sand and had a great time until he got cold. next time i will bring more towels and blankets!

We went to nanas house for nap where i took a quick nap with titus and then had a quiet time. the scripture god showed me was ecc 11:4 those who wait for perfect weather will never plant seeds and those who look at every cloud will never harvest crops. It spoke to me because I struggle with perfectionism. extreme perfectionism. I have always wanted everything to be perfect..every relationship to be perfect...the house to be clean...martha stewart meals on the table...kids perfectly behaved..and a supermodel body. This type of thinking and striving leads me to be consumed with the wornd things...leaves me striving for the ungodly..and leave me depressed and wallowing in sin.

I specifically remeber putting up the christmas tree this year. We have a 3 month old a 20 month old and a 5 year old. I was tired and my house was a wreck. In my head when we put up the christmas tree..the house had to be clean..we had to have christmas cookies baking...the kids had to be dressed cute and so did we...because we would take pictures, of course. In that moment of deciding to forget about all of that and just enjoy the moment of the messy house and kids and putting up the tree....i created a moment and had an ephipany that i needed to live and create the moment whether the circumstance around it were perfect or not.

With every baby I have had; the nesting and circumsatnces around the birth have had to become less and less "ideal." I used to work so hard to get all my ducks in a row so i could "relax" and "unwind" or play with the boys. But the truth is ..nothing is ever going to be all done. there are always going to be loose ends....in relationships...in the house..in business....if I am always waiting for the perfect setting ..then, life is going to pass me by.

So for now i am going to see the beauty in all the things that are left undone as i choose to live life and make decisions and press on regardless of the circumstances. It is in the things that are undone that I can become undone in worship and life and live life that is truly life in HIM.

2010-04-05T18:11:00.000-07:00

Today was rough. Nothing went the way it usaully does..nothing flowed...noone did what they were supposed to. Jude stopped drinking his formula yesterday and became irritable. At one point i walked outside with a veggie tray from yesterday to put the remains in the trash..he followed me outside saying "nak nak" (snack) and then threw a fit by the trash can. Titus has taken to biting me- clamping down hard and not letting go while nursing..did i mentioned he has cut two razor sharp teeth.have tried different techniques suggested from others but i think my shrieks each time are scaring him out of nursing. I am tired...my house is filthy...oh and Jude has decided not to nap...to climb out of his bed..the crib...the pac n play. Being consistant with the discipline is key but it is wearing on me...and poor Roman, he is so good but he bears the weight of my frustration when it comes out on him. Lord, thank you for your grace when I fail and come up short.

Easter 2010

2010-04-04T19:07:00.000-07:00

Arise My Love!

2010-04-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

With all the religions out there..all the ways of thinking...everything really comes down to one thing....

The Resurection

Its this time of year that Christians celebrate Easter...its alot of bunnies..and candy..and eggs..but really what are we celebrating? what is it all about?

EASTER IS MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE Christian Celebration!

why? because we celebrate Christ being risen from the dead. If it were not for this one moment in time....Christianity would NOT EXIST. and I would probably be practising some new age type of thinking...so, i ask you...have you considered it?

If the resurection really happened....then Jesus was who he said he was..and the things he said were true..THEN IT CHANGES EVERYTHING.so listen up. ( 1 corinthians 15:13-17)....because if Christ were not raised from the dead then our faith is worthless..

Putting everything else aside.......

Brooke Foss wescott an english scholar says " taking all the evidence together, it is not too much to say that there is no historic incident better or more variously supported than the resurrection of Christ"

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED THAT FIRST EASTER???

To be honest, we must look at the resurection as we would any historical event to determine...did it really happen?? To test historically is to see if the facts reported in the bible are supported by evidence.

First of all you cannot dispute the man Jesus Christ of nazareth. Its a historical FACT that he walked and lived on the earth when he did. The discrepancy comes with 1) was he who he said he was? (the son of God) and 2) did he die and come back to life THREE days later.

i could go into detail about the specifics of Roman crucifixion. It was a very thought out, horeendous way to die. As summary the Romans used spikes 5-7 inches long and nailed them through the wrists ..at this point it would lock the hands so as not to tear the skin..and then fall off the cross...this nail went through the place where the median nerve runs..this is the largest nerve and would have been crushed by the nail being pounded in. As Jesus was lifted onto the cross to hang in a vertical position...he was being lifted into a position of slow suffocation. To take a breath he would have to push up and this would have the nail tear through the foot and lock up against the tarsal bone...this would continue..push up..breathe..come down..until exhaustion would completley take over. And let me remind you that before being put on the cross the Romans would whip and beat the person until their bones were exposed. medical experts that have studied roman crucifixion have said that flesh was shreded..veins were laid bare..bowels and sinews were exposed...many would DIE before this kind of beating....but then they went on to carry a heavy wooden cross and to be crucified...the word EXCRUCIATING Was made for this event becasue there wasnt a word to describe what had to be endured...it means literally "out of the cross"

So could he have FAKED his death??

after the soldiers determined Jesus was dead..they used a spear to confirm it. the spear jammed through his side...would have gone through the right lung and into the heart.Johns description of this event STAYS CONSISTANT with modern medicine. ( read more on your own Lee strobel case for christ P.198)

Roman soldiers were experts in killing people...and if they would have let someone down from the cross alive,well, that didnt happen because they would have been killed themselves...and seeing if someone is dead or alive is not rocket science.

So could Jesus have come down from the cross alive: Lets Recap

1) He was in hypovolemic shock from massive bloodloss BEFORE the crucifixion even started

2) you can't fake the inability to breathe for long

3) He had a spear thrust through his lung and his heart

So lets say he was able to FAKE HIS DEATH....survie the beatings, lashings, nails, cruckifixion, spear thrusting, linen wrappings, roll away a huge boulder, and get past the roman guards on tomb duty....then he would walk around after nails being driven through hid feet and a spear in his side...after suffering all of that he would have looked so horrible would not the disciples have wanted to nurse him back to health instead of declaring him the risen christ?

You see, the man, Jesus of Nazareth declared himself to be the son of God. So in fact He either was the son of God or he was a liar or crazy. He also predicted His death and determined He would come back to life. So did He? If He did..then everything else He said during his time on earth would have to be true...which might change your life a little...

So considering the evidence that Jesus most definaltey died... suffering brutal beatings, carrying his cross, nails slammed through his hands and feet, being pulled up on to a cross to have all his ligaments seperated to slowly suffocate while losing blood, and then had a spear thrown through his major organs....What Proof do we have that Jesus came back to life??

I dont have time to go into the evidence that the grave was empty....and even if i did an empty grave doesnt make a resurection.

okay- so i got busy reading and now im tired..so think about it and if you want to study further esp for evidence of the resurection check out case for christ by lee strobel or a ready defense by josh mcdowell or anything by Gary Habermas

HE is Risen!!!!!!!

Song of Songs 2

Arise , my darling

my beautiful one and come with me

Grace

2010-04-01T18:08:00.000-07:00

...for not posting the last two days...really..i tried..I couldn't log in and then i had to end up resetting my password..anywho...

We had a wonderful relaxing afternoon yesterday. Andrew came home from work early so we all played outside...

mom

2010-03-29T17:12:00.001-07:00

you know I dont feel like blogging tonight. I have been reflecting on my moms life all day since she died eight years ago roday. I pondered today that even though i got to spend 20 years with my mom in this life. ..That will be a blip in time compared to the eternity we will share together in heaven. To some people heaven is a far out concept..a maybe..an if you have "more good than bad" on the judgement scales.The "if you are a good enough person" theory. You see the problem with these theories is they dont work...they dont add up...

My question is..whose the judge?

Who weighs those scales?

Who determines the "good enough"

You see the law of gravity states what comes up must come down...and like that The God of the Universe is Holy- He is perfect...he has to be..He is God.

The bible says in romans 3:23 that we have all fallen short of the glory of God....Which means we have all sinned...we have all lied...or stolen something...or thought a bad thoughs..YES THATS SIN!!

You see the bible states clearly that there is a heaven and a hell. It even describes what that heaven will be like! Its not a foreign concept anymore!!

To bridge that Gap between us and God? Simple: Jesus Christ. He came in our place...a perfect sacrifice.all we have to do to get into heaven is this: John 3:16

for some scriptures on what heaven will be like go here

I am so excited for heaven and I hope that you can be assured you'll join me and mom as we live and dance and play and worship together forever! yay

For some blogs on my mom go Here and Here and Here

identity

2010-03-28T11:24:00.000-07:00

I was looking at my "about me" thing on facebook. I deleted it and went to re write it and got stuck. I would start to type something and then delete it....this happened 3,4, 5,6 times.I sat and thought about it. How do you define yourself in words? what do you say about yourself to give people an impression of who you are?
IS IT POSSIBLE??

to write out who we are....give people a sense of us in a paragraph? I bet I could ask my closest friends..the ones who know my heart... I am sure they would do a better job than I.

Or better yet...could I look to the creator of the universe...the one who formed me in my mothers womb to tell me a little bit about who I am and what He intended me to be...

psalm 139 13-15
for you created my inmost being
you knit me together in my mothers room
I will praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made
your works are wonderful
i know that full well
my frame was not hidden from you
when i was made in the secret place
when i was woven together in the depths of the earth.

You see, all too often we are defined by the wrong things. WE PUT OUR IDENTITY IN THINGS THAT ARE FLEETING.THINGS THAT FADE AWAY.
We become defined by our marriages , I have many times been "Andrews wife"

We become defined by our children , I have many times been "Romans mom"

We become defined by our education or career "what do you do?" or "Im JUST a stay at home mom"

We are defined by how we look and how we act..the things we spend our time in...what we spend our money on...
You see, I could put my identity and happiness in Andrew (who is in my opinion the greatest man on the planet) but ultimatley he is going to let me down because he is human. This is not to say that i believe he will have an affair or start drinking heavily etc...(although he is not above that.) But he is going to hurt me and I hurt him.we are human..and we fail. Not to mention the face that the mortality rate these days (Pastor Greg) is right around 100 percent. Every day is a gift and we may not have tomorow...as i learned when my mom died when i was 20. Yes, YOU are going to die. Are you ready for whats next?? You can not put your hope in a person when our flesh is dying with every passing day.

Then again, I could put my identity and happiness in a house or car or the quest for more money so I can have a happier and more relaxing life.But these things too, are temporary..and really are they worth putting your identity in?

Everyday I fight against my own selfishness to have the perspective God intended for me to have. I fight everyday to place my identity in him..and not in how much i can accomplish or how i look or how perfect i can make everything on my own terms. I find any time I get depressed or in a funk it is because i have been trying to do things my own way and on my own terms.

He loves me (and you) so much that He wants to be our everything which is why he left us His love letter. When He is our identity we can never fail because we have our hope in something that is eternal and everlasting.

Psalm 90:2
Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

Early Easter!

2010-03-27T23:45:00.000-07:00

We celebrated Easter Early with our boys today. Jude is starting an all liquid diet on Monday and we wanted him to enjoy some easter goodies with Roman! He loved his candy and his pop rocks! Titus got up early for a photo opp with the baskets. I am sure he was wondering..wheres mine??

The Flowertown Festival

2010-03-26T16:14:00.001-07:00

We had so much fun today at Summervilles annual festival. We met some friends and auntie sharon and baby Grace. Jude loved the train (cant you tell from his face??!!). They both love the big slide. We also indulged in sushi, corndogs, kettle corn, fries, and a hotdog.

2010-03-25T04:37:00.000-07:00

Here is Titus at 6 mos. He cut his first tooth yesterday. He brings so much joy to our family. I know that sounds cliche because obviously babies bring joy! But i truly praise God for his timing with Titus. No matter whats going on with the rest of us..i can get with Titus and look at his chunky legs or nurse him in bed...and everything is right with the world :)

Sailing... an excerpt from my memoir

2010-03-23T15:42:00.000-07:00

I had a dream one night while I was serving in the youth ministry under a man named Andrew Page. I was on a big luxurious Ocean liner- a cruise boat. It was beautiful.Top of the line. Pristine white against the crystal blue ocean. I was content and happy as I saw a small fishing boat approaching in the distance. A solo man in ragged clothes standing on the one propeller boat. As he got closer I saw that he was standing over the side holding a long spear. He was spearing fish. As his little silver boat moved toward my cruise liner I saw that it was Andrew Page. Our boats met on the ocean and he helped me into his boat and we sailed off spearing fish together. At the time I did not know it, but this man would become my husband and the father of my three sons. He would become my best friend and I would be his wife and his first lover.

The morning of my wedding day I woke up early.I had been planning on sleeping in but I was excited. My first thought was that I was going to kiss Andrew today. Then I started thinking "oh my goodness we are going to have sex tonight." I was going to have sex with a man I had never kissed...whom I had never seen naked..and with whom had never seen me but fully clothed. My thoughts were racing as I went down to the gym to workout.

When I met Andrew Page my first impression of him was nothing. He was nothing out of the ordinary to look at. He had bright blue eyes and he was a little on the chubby side. He usually dressed in frumpy jeans and fleece pullovers. I had just become involved in the church in which he was employed. He was in charge of a service for middle school kids and I wanted to volunteer with that age group of girls. I had experienced enough heartache and made my share of mistakes to last a lifetime and I was only nineteen. If I could influence even one girl to take a different direction than I had I figured it would be worth it or it would at least give some meaning to my past. Sunday mornings I would go to church and all the volunteers would pray in Andrews office. His services consisted of crazy games which often involved disgusting foods or sticking kids to the wall with duck tape. I watched him preach and lead his team.I watched how the kids adored him.
At this time in my life I wasn't really thinking about dating. Trying to get over an ex and find my way with Jesus was all consuming. However it seemed that many Christian men were not trying so hard to not date me. I got inquiries all the time and people asking my friends if I was single or what is the deal with Lindsay. This alone made me want to figure out this whole new way of dating.I started pouring over books on Christian dating and reading the bible; specifically Song of Songs. There is a scripture in that book that talks about how foxes sneak in and ruin the vineyards. I thought about how my vineyards, my heart, and my body had been broken over and over again. I decided that my future looked different. This was a new day and a new season. I prayed and sought direction on what this meant to me. What did it look like to protect myself without becoming hard? God spoke to me about how He wanted to be my first love. How I was to protect my heart for my husband and with that I was to protect my body. In my conversation with God I asked him; "How do I protect what has already been broken?" In the depths of my heart I knew that I had to make a boundary for myself and that I would not have any physical relationship (including kissing) with a man until the day I got married.. ( to be continued)

23 days!

2010-03-23T10:48:00.001-07:00

ok- so i am going to regret doing this but i am making a commitment to start blogging again ...My main reasons for my blog are 1) my family in england to stay in the loop 2) this is probably the only baby book my boys will have. I plan on printing it all and binding it on thsi cool website i found. Probably wont happen until we are out of debt and they are in college...

So for the next 23 days I am going to blog everyday. I am hoping I will overcome the anxiety and general blah attitude i have towards it lately.... i may give updates on the boys, Jude, what God is showing us..what i had for breakfast..whatever.I am just going to post everyday. So if anyone is still reading drop me a comment to spur me on

Why 23 days, you ask? Well that is the amount of time I have until I go on vacation. yes, a real vacation..with blue waters and white sand. I have only ever been on one like this before 9 years ago with my dad and brother....so I am super duper excited!

Does this count as my post today? ;-)

Turtle Mania!! Judes costume party!

2010-03-18T11:34:00.000-07:00

Titus and Bapa

which one is the gift and which one is Jude? ;-)

WHEEE!!!

All tuckered out after the party!..i think he stole someone paci!

this is my fav pic! love it! Titus and his friend, Rachel.

Brycen trying to swipe some food!

cutie pies all dressed up!

Titus and Everleigh. Titus trying to suck on his trunk!

Two bumblebees- only Roman is the transformer version

the pretty table and cake

cupcakes!

Our friends bought Jude the sweetest turtle when he was in the hospital last summer. Ever since then he has loved turtles! I decided to do a turtle theme for his 2nd birthday this year! I did a turtle cake, cupcakes, and turtle pops. Even turtle shaped bread. All the kiddos came in costume to the park where friends and family helped provide an awesome lunch. Uncle Ross completed the day with pizza from parkpizzaco! YUM!

For an update on the boys see post below!!

Jude had so much fun..he loved getting into his gifts this year. He got a life size sea turtle from Bapa and Gma Kt and a special blanket with his name and a scripture from nana and pappy! We are so blessed to share our journey with these folks!

Dear Blog....

2010-03-11T11:06:00.000-08:00

jude trying out titus's walker

Look at that sweet face!!

playtime!!

Jude put his sea turtle (a b'day gift from bapa and gma kt) in titus' bouncer!!

Roman and Jude after Romans choir concert

new outfits from Nana and GG Page!

My three muskateers!!

Little Titus- eat him!

I am so sorry I have neglected you.I have a million excuses, really. Although I have been cheating with a Mr Face Book. It is just easier to upload pics there and be done. However, I am making a commintment to do better. In lieu of counseling ,I offer an update on Page House.

Titus is smiling, sitting up, and laughing. This little guy is so spoiled. We love him to pieces. He just turned 6 monthes and is so happy and content. He loves nursing and loves a bottle. He is currenlt loving his rainforest jumperoo and just jumps and jumps! He sleeps 12 hour nights (and no we didnt have to let him cry for hours on end ;-).... to achieve this. But more than anything he loves his brothers and his daddy.His face lights up when they come in the room...

Jude is such a little ham. He is so mischevious and always has us laughing..he is just so darn cute..seriously. He has just gotten into Thomas and the wiggles. he turned 2 last saturday and I will post pics from his party in a nother post..Jude loves Roman and they play fairly well together most of the time. Jude and Roman now share a room. I am so excited to see the bond these two have and develop growing up. Jude is learning self control really well and now does blanket time (a GFI principle we practise) for 40 minutes. He is doing well sharing and has started to come when we call him..the first time. yay Jude!!!

Roman has been at home with me since January. I am going to look into formally homechooling him for a little while. Roman is such a sweet and silly spirit. The first thing he wants to do upon waking is go and see Titus. He loves his little brither and will be perfectly happy just playing with him and making him laugh . ROman loves learning and gets sad when we skip a day of school work. He is really smart! He is getting all his letters and numbers and we have started some basic reading skills. Roman does great with our daily routine which for him includes things such as sit time, room time, and free playtime.

I love my job..and i love raising these little boys for HIS glory. It's in the ordinary that God does the extraordinary...and what better task at hand than raising three men who will impact the next three generations.wow!

My Montage 2/18/10 at OneTrueMedia.com

2010-02-18T08:47:00.001-08:00

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

God Speaks Part 1...

2010-02-10T11:05:00.000-08:00

The first story of God speaking on this journey...

I really dont know where to begin which is why i get overwhelmed and end up not blogging. Jude had his scopes last thursday. they went well and he came home right away. I walked in the door with him (andrew had left to pick up the other boys) I sat Jude down and he was shaking, blue, and struggling for breath. I checked his head and he was burning up. Threw him in the truck drove to the ER. When we got there his temp was 104 and he looked horrible. I was soooo scared. After a horrible afternoon there we got to go home and had follow ups for the next 2 days because his blood sugar was high. This involved having a hard time getting a urine sample even with a catheter...We eventually got the news that his blood sugar was normalized and we began to wait on the biopsies from the scopes.

We recieved the news on Monday that the biopsies of the esophagus looked great! he had almost no eosiniophils there! Praise God!!! The bad news or (Gods not done yet) news as I like to call it was that his colon is in bad shape. The eosinophil count in one of the tissue samples was 46 where as last summer it was 30. This means we really need to find out what is causing this..what is he allergic to? We are going to redo the allergy testing and PRAY for an answer.The alternative is for Jude to give up all solid food and live on a hypoallergenic formula until his colon heals.

This has been such a crazy ride. A few weeks ago I was at the point where I was asking God what do i need to do? What did I not "get" about healing the first time around (with my moms illness). There were days I didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to give Jude three rounds of three medicines plus more for the fever after the scopes. There were days when his pain was so bad that i had to mentally disconnect just so i wouldnt fall apart...so i could tend to a nursing baby and schooling my sweet 5 year old. Days when I couldn't pray- when I knew so many people were fasting for Judes healing but I didnt want to fast....

One night when Roman and I were throwing up and Andrew was out of town. I was on my knees leaning over the toliet..and I thought "oh my goodness, this is the first time all week that I have been on my knees." and in that moment i recognized how much control I was holding onto. Dear God if a stomach bug is what it takes for me to get on my knees- bring it!

....and then I got to the point where I was slowly broken and came to a place of surrender.

Jude had stopped eating and drinking for a few days. I figured it was the pain of the EE especially since he would choke and gag and throw up. One day Roz's good friend called her and they prayed for Jude. The friend prayed for a yeast infection and that he be healed of it.

Roz questioned her on it and asked why did you pray this? he doesn't have a yeast infection?

Well, Roz called and told me about it. I hung up the phone and started thinking. One of the side effects of one of the asthma meds he swallows is thrush. I looked in Judes mouth and sure enough it was covered in white bumps and sore!

That prayer those two women prayed was huge. Divine.This was more than just being able to get the thrush meds and get Jude back on track in one small area. It was just what I needed at that time. God knew I needed more than anything to know that He still speaks and is still living and present and involved in our lives. I needed that at that time to increase my faith to see me through the ordeal of last week and of the coming weeks.

After that week (before Judes scopes) I was worshipping in church and I felt my spirit lift and break all at the same time. I felt that instead of harboring fear and putting up walls I was broken and had come to a place of total surrender where I knew that in the most heartbreaking of circumstances of having a sick little boy that cries out to me in pain..i couldn't do anything but surrender control to God and just TRUST Him with everything......

God Speaks Part two.....stay tuned!!

My Montage 1/27/10 at OneTrueMedia.com

2010-01-29T12:37:00.001-08:00

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Puppy Annabelle

2010-01-12T12:39:00.000-08:00

Our friends brought over their new puppy to play with the boys. Jude absolutley LOVES "woo woofs" and they had so much fun playing with her. Roman loved giving her kisses and "snuggling her" on the couch. I really would love to get them a dog..maybe one day....

Snow in the South

2010-01-12T12:27:00.000-08:00

On Sunday we took the kids to blackbeards cove- they had a snow machine and hills set up for sledding. the boys have never seen snow and they loved it! it was so much fun to experience that with them in the WARM weather! They loved the hot chocolate and roasting marshmallows after! What a beautiful family memory.xo

Romans Room Makeover...on a budget.

2010-01-03T13:47:00.000-08:00

Romans room really needed a makeover. It was so blah and dark..cluttered. We had started doing a rockstar theme but it didnt really fit him and never really came together.

We decided on the dinosaur theme because I found the bedding at Ross for 12 dollars. The biggest splurge was the rug which i got at target for 20.00. I couldnt pass it up because the colors were perfect! and it tied everything else together. We got 3d puzzles which will aid as decoration at michaels for 1.00-3.00. The lamp i re did from goodwill. It was three dollars and I painted a toy dinosaur we had and added rocks with a glue gun from the dollar store. I painted the shade and added ribbon and glued tiny plastic dinosaurs on crawling up the metal post.

The wallpops were from ac moore and i used two 40 percent off coupons. The stuffed iguanas were from the dollar store and the do do bird with perfect matching colors was at ross clearance for 2.00.

The tree and bamboo we already had outside so i just cleaned them off and brought them in. We got rid of a bunch of clutter and the big old tv and are having a garage sale this weekend.

Christmas

2010-01-03T05:46:00.000-08:00

Wow! What a great Christmas season. I am just now recovering my house and family. We had four christmases. We went to church Christmas eve. It was a great time as most of kates (step mom) family was there to celebrate. We took up two whole seacoast rows. Go us! Then we stopped by Roz's(andrews mom) where she gave the boys and me matching pajamas. We headed home quickly to get the boys in bed for the big day...and santa and mrs clause enjoyed a glass of champagne by the christmas tree.
On Christmas morning I woke up at 4: 30 to hear rustling. It was "santa" wrapping my presents. Andrew and I had agreed not to get each other anything as it was enough watching the kids on Christmas morning- and our parents still spoil us with gifts and stockings- love that!
Well, i went back to sleep and then took roman and judes stocking up to their door and left it there around 6. We told Roman before bed that he could go and open his door to see what was there when he woke up. When we hear him we looked through the video monitor to see what he was doing.He went and looked out the window ( i guess to see if it was morning) then he crawled back into bed. 5 minutes later he did the same thing (so cute) then he went to the window again. This time (i guess he decided it was time) he went and got his stocking. As we eatched him open it i realized he had taken judes stocking so i had to run up stairs and intercede!
At 7:30 I went upstairs to take Jude his stocking- he was still fast asleep. He got excited when he realized there was crayons and candy involved. After that we went downstairs and the boys opened their own piles of gifts and played until we had to leave for mount pleasant.
We arroived at my dads to an AMAZING breakfast. I always feel so loved when someone caters to my veggie diet. Kate had made veggie sausage and heinz veggie baked beans- that and a couple mimosas- I was in heaven!! After breakfast we all opened gifts. so much fun watching the boys- Jude loved his little people farm- and Roman loved his bumble bee helmet and arm thing.Andrew and i got a computer amoungst other things! After all the gifts were open we watched some Mr Bean..then it was time to .
We buckled in for the long haul to andrews parents house..its at LEAST a mile away.phew.
When we got there we opened gifts with Andrews parents and Sharon, Ben,and Grace. Jude was so tired and opening everyones gifts so he went down for a nap! After gifts we had Christmas dinner- it was so yummy- salad, ham, potatoes, green beans, and an amazing cherry chocolate cake by Sharon. The boys loved their toys and played with them after dinner.

The next day we headed to Hampton to celebrate with Andrews dads side of the family. The kids had a blast running around the pond and riding in the wagon and boat- a little boys dream!

On Sunday we celebrated in Mount pleasant with Roz's side of the family.The kids sang Christmas carols and played with new toys and all their cousins.The food and drink was plentiful and a fun time was had by all!

Cleaning

2009-12-22T15:35:00.000-08:00

Roman and Jude decided to help mommy clean today. Half way through Jude tired to snuggle with Roman. These boys keep me laughing!

One more please???!!

2009-12-16T14:49:00.000-08:00

This is my not so little Titus. What a perfect name God gave us for our "chunky punk." as Andrew calls him. I just love that nickname! Anyway, he is 12 weeks and is already in some 9 month clothes.wow! Last appointment he was about 13 pounds.

This is seriously the happiest baby we have ever seen. he smiles at everything and anybody and he has just started to laugh a little. (i just realized how funny that is with the seriousness of the picture above!)Even when he is hungy he barely fusses (less the few times he has actually cried and then it was a rather high pitched squeal-cute.) We are so in love with this little man and he fits in with our family so perfectly!

Here is our 5 year old painting his gift from his auntie felicia! Roman is becoming so inquisitive and more precious everyday. He is still very obedient..a people lover and pleaser.. and loves the structure and routine of our lives. He loves to teach Jude things, hold Judes hand etc. When we are driving he often passes the time by saying "Jude say truck" "jude say jude" and then laughs at Judes attempts to communicate.

Here is precious Jude..our little firecracker. He is so spunky and fun with such a sweet spirit. He absolutley loves his baby Titus. Hs is the first thing he asks for every morning and he will point to any of titus' things and say his name. He always wants to hug him and kiss him. he has never once showed jealousy or maliciousness to our new addition. Seeing them interact is too precious for words.My cup runs over and I am filled with praise at the joy I experience in raising these boys. Lord, may I have one more????

The boys helping me with christmas goodies!white chocolate covered candy canes- yum-o

here is a side by side of Roman (left) and Titus. We see more and more Titus loooking like Roman as a baby..same laid back personality too!

A Mario Kart Birthday...Roman Turns 5!!!!

2009-12-05T12:11:00.000-08:00

We celebrated Romans birthday last weekend. Can you believe he is 5? wow! We spent some time this past week watching videos of him as a baby- bittersweet! I could go on and on with all the "it goes by so fast" cliches..oh goodness!

Anyway, Titus and Roman are identical! But we will save that for a later blog entry!

Roman asked me 6 monthes ago for a mario kart party. he has been playing mario kart on the wii at his papa and nanas house for the last year. We searched some ideas on the internet where he found a pic of the cake i ended up making. he has been so excited about his mario cake...and anyone who knows me knows i love a challenge!

We did the mario cake with mushroom cupcakes.Mario fruitsnacks and balloons rounded out the table. It was perfect weather and everyone had a blast playing on the playground!

Roman got some great gifts- about 5 transformers and a remote control monster truck from Uncle Ross among others!

He is saying the cutest things lately. We were driving home the other night and he says momna- if our house breaks then we get a new house. umm....i guess he generalizes that our van broke and we got a new van and toys break and we get new toys...lets just hope our house isnt going to break!

He loves transformers, and toy story, dressing up in his woody and transformer costumes, he also loves board games, and singing in the van. He loves singing in his auntie Sharons childrens choir and he is constantly laughing at Jude or Titus. He is such a joy and I feel so blessed God chose us to raise him.wow!

Little Tigers

2009-11-24T12:01:00.000-08:00

This past weekend we went to watch the Clemson game at Andrews parents house. That morning while garage saleing I found Roman and Jude a football outfit. Jude sees a clemson paw and says "fooball!!!." They are all growing so fast. Titus had his 9 week appointmenet . He was 12pounds 14oz. He is sleeping a good 10-12 hours at night. The boy still loves his paci. Jude is still having some ups and downs medically so please keep him in your prayers!!