Wednesday, February 10, 2010

God Speaks Part 1...

The first story of God speaking on this journey...

I really dont know where to begin which is why i get overwhelmed and end up not blogging. Jude had his scopes last thursday. they went well and he came home right away. I walked in the door with him (andrew had left to pick up the other boys) I sat Jude down and he was shaking, blue, and struggling for breath. I checked his head and he was burning up. Threw him in the truck drove to the ER. When we got there his temp was 104 and he looked horrible. I was soooo scared. After a horrible afternoon there we got to go home and had follow ups for the next 2 days because his blood sugar was high. This involved having a hard time getting a urine sample even with a catheter...We eventually got the news that his blood sugar was normalized and we began to wait on the biopsies from the scopes.

We recieved the news on Monday that the biopsies of the esophagus looked great! he had almost no eosiniophils there! Praise God!!! The bad news or (Gods not done yet) news as I like to call it was that his colon is in bad shape. The eosinophil count in one of the tissue samples was 46 where as last summer it was 30. This means we really need to find out what is causing this..what is he allergic to? We are going to redo the allergy testing and PRAY for an answer.The alternative is for Jude to give up all solid food and live on a hypoallergenic formula until his colon heals.

This has been such a crazy ride. A few weeks ago I was at the point where I was asking God what do i need to do? What did I not "get" about healing the first time around (with my moms illness). There were days I didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to give Jude three rounds of three medicines plus more for the fever after the scopes. There were days when his pain was so bad that i had to mentally disconnect just so i wouldnt fall apart...so i could tend to a nursing baby and schooling my sweet 5 year old. Days when I couldn't pray- when I knew so many people were fasting for Judes healing but I didnt want to fast....

One night when Roman and I were throwing up and Andrew was out of town. I was on my knees leaning over the toliet..and I thought "oh my goodness, this is the first time all week that I have been on my knees." and in that moment i recognized how much control I was holding onto. Dear God if a stomach bug is what it takes for me to get on my knees- bring it!

....and then I got to the point where I was slowly broken and came to a place of surrender.

Jude had stopped eating and drinking for a few days. I figured it was the pain of the EE especially since he would choke and gag and throw up. One day Roz's good friend called her and they prayed for Jude. The friend prayed for a yeast infection and that he be healed of it.

Roz questioned her on it and asked why did you pray this? he doesn't have a yeast infection?

Well, Roz called and told me about it. I hung up the phone and started thinking. One of the side effects of one of the asthma meds he swallows is thrush. I looked in Judes mouth and sure enough it was covered in white bumps and sore!

That prayer those two women prayed was huge. Divine.This was more than just being able to get the thrush meds and get Jude back on track in one small area. It was just what I needed at that time. God knew I needed more than anything to know that He still speaks and is still living and present and involved in our lives. I needed that at that time to increase my faith to see me through the ordeal of last week and of the coming weeks.

After that week (before Judes scopes) I was worshipping in church and I felt my spirit lift and break all at the same time. I felt that instead of harboring fear and putting up walls I was broken and had come to a place of total surrender where I knew that in the most heartbreaking of circumstances of having a sick little boy that cries out to me in pain..i couldn't do anything but surrender control to God and just TRUST Him with everything......

God Speaks Part two.....stay tuned!!

8 comments:

The Tylers said...

I am speechless. I am so sorry you have had all this to deal with & yet some of us complain because our kids have a cold. We will be praying for all of you. What an amazing tribute to what God can do...

The Gotbeters said...

You are amazing Lindsay! Thank you for sharing that with us! We are continuing to be on our knees for your family. Praying hard that the allergies are discovered and clear!

Jessica said...

beautiful!

dusty and tammy said...

Amazing! Go God! I really needed to read that right now. TR=rusting the Lord...

Jennie said...

Oh my goodness..I have chills...WOW..I can't WAIT to hear part 2! God is using your stories to speak volumes to others and people are going to come to know the Lord b/c of your family...how cool! I know there will be people in heaven who will tell you they are there b/c of your family..God is good! :) (Im still praying daily...)

Sandy said...

Thanks for sharing Lindsay. Might sound crazy but I needed that. My family had been praying and even my dad fasted and prayed for Jude. I'm in tears (and that is rare) reading your blog and am just so happy that God loves our kids so much more that we do. Keep us updated and I'll keep praying for Jude....wish I could lay hands on him.

juliemcala said...

AMAZING story, can't wait to hear more! Praying now!

Hillary said...

We are praying for your precious little boys. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. We'll be praying for some clear answers to Jude's allergies.

What an incredible story about how God is working! Praise God!