My Sweet Baby and The King of Glory

It's such a cliche question to wonder how you can love someone you have never met? When I saw that face this morning I was so in love. No less, the forth time than I was the first time. I marvel at the bones and the heart chambers. The blood pulsing through the umbilical cord. Its tiny mouth opening and closing. You are Indeed, fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well!

When I found I was pregnant with this one, I had the inclination that we shouldn't find out the sex. It was a strange thought to me. I am a planner as much as the next woman. I like to have all my ducks in a row, clothes in the closet, bedding picked out, nursery decorated, name embroidered on the hospital hat etc etc. That thought turned into a converstion with my husband, then some persauding, then it became more concrete and how do we go about planning in unplanning.ha! I have come more and more to like the idea of not planning for this baby, not being able or wanting to buy anything and just focusing on my boys and enjoying the whole experience without any of the stuff that we have come to think "should" be a part of the experience.

Then we went to the ultrasound.

The first few weeks of pregnancy usually drag on... waiting until this day. The week and days and hours before are torture.... and then sitting in the waiting room is agony! just let me know, already!! But today, was different, I didn't have a desire to know. I was glad I wasn't going to have to make a big announcement. (I am aware that after having 3 sweet boys, there are alot of people rooting for us to have a girl!!) just for the record: I would love to have four boys and whatever we have I am confident in the Lords soverign plan!

During the first ten minutes of the ultrasound I just wanted it to be over. I was so nervous we were actually going to be able to see "something" that would ruin my plan!! I was all jittery,"  get what you need and get on with it".

A little while into looking around the tech asked me if "kidney problems" run in my family. I told her I had one kidney and the left one was removed as a teenager. I was aggravated with her questions and anxious for her to tell me what in the heck was going on. Apparantly, the babies left kidney is full of fluid which means it is either low functioing or not functioning. We wont know until after birth and they run some tests. Right now all we can do is pray for the right kidney to be strong and healing for the left. We will go back regularly to check on things.

I am confident in my God. I am confident in His promises and I am so glad that this is in His hands and not mine. I am also comforted knowing that you can lead a healthy and active life with one kidney :)

Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, I attended a womens retreat. One of the exercises was to ask God for a single word. The girl sitting next to me and I (individually) recieved the word GLORY. I didnt know what to do with it at the time besides store it away in my heart. Today I felt the King of Glory(s) presence nudging me to declare that this whole process will work for His glory.