Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Better....
















Joy comes with the morning...a very early morning! I woke up at two to get titus...i think in yesterdays craziness we missed a feeding...anyway, and then I couldnt get back to sleep so i cleaned my house..To let you know how messy it was the downstairs took 3 hours and i do not have a big house! After that I worked out and got ready to take the boys to the beach! We had such a fun day at the beach and i scored roman a boogie board at WAVES for 5 bucks! He was so thrilled! Titus loved to eat the sand and had a great time until he got cold. next time i will bring more towels and blankets!










We went to nanas house for nap where i took a quick nap with titus and then had a quiet time. the scripture god showed me was ecc 11:4 those who wait for perfect weather will never plant seeds and those who look at every cloud will never harvest crops. It spoke to me because I struggle with perfectionism. extreme perfectionism. I have always wanted everything to be perfect..every relationship to be perfect...the house to be clean...martha stewart meals on the table...kids perfectly behaved..and a supermodel body. This type of thinking and striving leads me to be consumed with the wornd things...leaves me striving for the ungodly..and leave me depressed and wallowing in sin.










I specifically remeber putting up the christmas tree this year. We have a 3 month old a 20 month old and a 5 year old. I was tired and my house was a wreck. In my head when we put up the christmas tree..the house had to be clean..we had to have christmas cookies baking...the kids had to be dressed cute and so did we...because we would take pictures, of course. In that moment of deciding to forget about all of that and just enjoy the moment of the messy house and kids and putting up the tree....i created a moment and had an ephipany that i needed to live and create the moment whether the circumstance around it were perfect or not.










With every baby I have had; the nesting and circumsatnces around the birth have had to become less and less "ideal." I used to work so hard to get all my ducks in a row so i could "relax" and "unwind" or play with the boys. But the truth is ..nothing is ever going to be all done. there are always going to be loose ends....in relationships...in the house..in business....if I am always waiting for the perfect setting ..then, life is going to pass me by.










So for now i am going to see the beauty in all the things that are left undone as i choose to live life and make decisions and press on regardless of the circumstances. It is in the things that are undone that I can become undone in worship and life and live life that is truly life in HIM.

3 comments:

Hilary Surratt said...

This was so encouraging to me and I don't even have any kids yet! I feel so much like everything has to be perfect and everything has to be clean, I just spent 30 minutes cleaning my kitchen, and the I look at the rest of the house and realize that there is always going to be a mess and I'm out of energy, and I just have to realize that! Thanks for encouragement Lindsay! You are such an awesome mom, I hope I'm a good mom like you! :)

Christy said...

so beautifully stated Lindsay. Thanks for letting God speak to me through you in this post. It was just what I needed to hear right now. :)

felicia said...

I feel ya love. I've also got perfectionist ideals....I think that's what causes a great deal of my anxiety and meltdowns.
I know that there are things I refuse to even start because I'm not sure I can do it to my standard, which I never considered "perfect" but it is extreme and pretty unobtainable...whether a meal or a craft or job application. Why do we fear failure? I don't get it?